Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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