I'm lost and stupid without you.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
