When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
