What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you had me at cake vodka
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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