Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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