I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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