I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
