They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
