She is in my trunk
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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