Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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