omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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