so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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