maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize