Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
