im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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