If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize