How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
