Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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