Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
