she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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