my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize