Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
