If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
