Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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