her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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