i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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