I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Houston, we have a squirter
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i believe in u and ur pee
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
