brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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