allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
