We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
