The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
