i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
