Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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