If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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