Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Drake has all the answers
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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