if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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