Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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