weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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