i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was like eating out sand paper
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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