Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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