I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
