11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize