If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
