I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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