the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
