Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
