i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
