put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
