But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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