Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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