My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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