You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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