I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
