Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
