Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
