You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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