Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
