my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
