The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
