As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
