She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We named our party play list daddy issues
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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