you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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