After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
